Monday, August 6, 2012
Simplicity
May those times be circumstantial,
Emotional, or mental,
There's such a calmness after turbulent times.
Emotional, or mental,
There's such a calmness after turbulent times.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Music and Renewal
There are moments in anyone's life that make them question the personal choices made, reconsider thoughts thought, and reevaluate the direction taken in life. This deep introspection of personal reflection comes many a time, whether it be after a stumble and fall, a rejection, or a loss. Everyone I chat with seems to have the toughest times after loss, whether that be disconnected communication or death, itself.
What I take comfort in every morning, these days, is that I can always renew myself with no limit as to how many times I'm allowed to and music helps with this constant personal change. With every personal change, I believe it comes with a renewal that open the self to new experiences that enrich life with both the good and the bad. If loss is a part of our lives, then so are gains, whether it be material or spiritual. I sincerely believe that there is so life without loss and there is no life without renewal. Keeping this in mind, I am not so depressed about losing because I know that no matter what, I will always have the strength to carry on. Whatever happened was yesterday and today will be tomorrow and I want to live my life preparing for what's coming instead of grieving for what is now gone.
In the meanwhile, I listen.
What I take comfort in every morning, these days, is that I can always renew myself with no limit as to how many times I'm allowed to and music helps with this constant personal change. With every personal change, I believe it comes with a renewal that open the self to new experiences that enrich life with both the good and the bad. If loss is a part of our lives, then so are gains, whether it be material or spiritual. I sincerely believe that there is so life without loss and there is no life without renewal. Keeping this in mind, I am not so depressed about losing because I know that no matter what, I will always have the strength to carry on. Whatever happened was yesterday and today will be tomorrow and I want to live my life preparing for what's coming instead of grieving for what is now gone.
In the meanwhile, I listen.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Music When There's No One Else
I've learned the hard way that people cannot be fully depended on when it comes to emotional distress or even comfort. I've wasted years on people I should have moved on from earlier, people who don't even speak to me anymore for reasons I wouldn't want to hear about because I simply don't give a damn. But finally moving on from what I walked away from doesn't remove the fact of how lonely it is to start over. It even becomes heavier to handle when in this meanwhile, new people are coming and going through me faster than I can endure. I guess saying goodbye wouldn't be so hard for those who don't get easily attached, but that doesn't really describe me.
In this meanwhile of limbo and lingering time, I turn to music and to the sounds of song and silence to comfort me when it's convenient for me. On my terms. Easily changing from unhappy to grateful, from joy to embitterment, from this to that, from there to here, from where I stand to anywhere. Not only do the sounds comfort me in my own time but it also accompanies me to places I've never visited, places not created, places that only exist in the dimension of art and sound. All of a sudden, life makes sense, is bearable, no, worth living for.
I have never appreciated my ears more than I do today and I hope I do not lose my ability to hear any time soon. Upon this appreciation, I have also noticed that there is no such things as pure silence, or least, I have not come across it upon my days of living. There's always something to listen to. The woman tapping her heels, the student tapping the erase end of his pencil, the ocean waves rolling in, the wind passing by, the sound of breaking cars in traffic, the sounds of people talking to their phones. I guess, there's always something to listen to even though there always won't be someone there for me. Not yet, at least.
In the meanwhile, I take comfort in the fact that my ears will always have something to listen to.
In this meanwhile of limbo and lingering time, I turn to music and to the sounds of song and silence to comfort me when it's convenient for me. On my terms. Easily changing from unhappy to grateful, from joy to embitterment, from this to that, from there to here, from where I stand to anywhere. Not only do the sounds comfort me in my own time but it also accompanies me to places I've never visited, places not created, places that only exist in the dimension of art and sound. All of a sudden, life makes sense, is bearable, no, worth living for.
I have never appreciated my ears more than I do today and I hope I do not lose my ability to hear any time soon. Upon this appreciation, I have also noticed that there is no such things as pure silence, or least, I have not come across it upon my days of living. There's always something to listen to. The woman tapping her heels, the student tapping the erase end of his pencil, the ocean waves rolling in, the wind passing by, the sound of breaking cars in traffic, the sounds of people talking to their phones. I guess, there's always something to listen to even though there always won't be someone there for me. Not yet, at least.
In the meanwhile, I take comfort in the fact that my ears will always have something to listen to.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Anything But A Burden
For as long as I am human,
There will be days to come,
That seem longer than most,
And make it harder to live for tomorrow,
For as long as I am vulnerable,
There will be people who make it harder to breathe,
Harder to erase from thought,
Harder to continue without,
For as long as I am me,
I will never stop believing,
I will never stop feeling,
And won't let loss stop me from trying again,
It's a new day,
And I still miss you.
There will be days to come,
That seem longer than most,
And make it harder to live for tomorrow,
For as long as I am vulnerable,
There will be people who make it harder to breathe,
Harder to erase from thought,
Harder to continue without,
For as long as I am me,
I will never stop believing,
I will never stop feeling,
And won't let loss stop me from trying again,
It's a new day,
And I still miss you.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
It's Not The Same
Music has its benefits. I remember when it helped me like a loyal friend on lonely nights when my car was my only stable companion. When there wasn't much but the moonlight reflecting on the waves that were rolling in. It was there for me when no one else could, when many didn't believe in what was within me, and when my own parents didn't trust me. Music created that space for me to retreat to when the place I once called my home only complicated matters. Music was and has been there for me and continues to be everything I ever wanted in people through the airwaves and through the sound and silence.
Music definitely has its benefits. But it's not the same, anymore. These days, it's only been salting the wounds left behind by invasive emptiness and heartbreak. Every note, chord, riff, and lyric sung only reminds me of times that have happened and past. Music used to replenish me, refresh me, give me the strength to carry on, but these days, it only laces my everyday life with the weight of people come and gone.
This is why I, when I was a younger child in the days of elementary school, vowed to never stumble on the roots of attachment because I had an idea of how difficult it would be to live with the holes that will always remain when it cannot be. So much for promising myself.
Music definitely has its benefits. But it's not the same, anymore. These days, it's only been salting the wounds left behind by invasive emptiness and heartbreak. Every note, chord, riff, and lyric sung only reminds me of times that have happened and past. Music used to replenish me, refresh me, give me the strength to carry on, but these days, it only laces my everyday life with the weight of people come and gone.
I'll never stop missing you.
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